By Judy May, Executive Director
Desert Ability Center
Peter Li left us this past week. It was a passing of his choosing. His acceptance of the reality that his life, while well lived and filled with agendas for another day, was coming to an end. With the loving support of his family and the medical caregivers, he began his end of life process and passed quietly in the night.
For those who may not know Peter Li, he was a bit of a local celebrity. As an advocate for Angel View and people who live with a disability, he was a keynote speaker at galas and shared frequently his story on our local tv stations. He attended Walk of Star ceremonies and shared coffee, so to speak, with Dan McGrath on his very, very early show in Indian Wells many years ago. He celebrated his 40th birthday at the Old Town Artisan Studio. He was a literal social butterfly until funding declined and regular outings around the community were no longer an option.
During the times of throttled excursions Peter finished his book “Fueled By Misery – My Journey Through Life With Muscular Dystrophy.” Joe Castaneda, the publisher of Peter’s book, says his “is a story of surviving and navigating life events that would leave most people without any reason to smile.” Peter shared his life’s disappointments from time to time and then compartmentalized them to be replaced with those ventures he could do instead.
Peter had limited mobility for most of his life due to the advancing effects of muscular dystrophy. At no time was it more evident than in his final days when his every need required the help of another’s hands. His voice, which was so powerful in print and in the community, was no longer available to him. With the help of his patient and loving sister his efforts to communicate were interpreted and conveyed. During one of these cumbersome conversations his trademark humor surfaced in a smile and his resolute acceptance of what lay ahead visible in his steadfast eyes.
I visited Peter during those last days. With a twinkle in his eye, he asked me to “write a good story” about him. I told him I would knowing that there is no better story than that which he told through the graciousness and self-awareness with which he lived his life and shared without reservation.
It is heartbreaking to think of Peter in these early days following his death. While he lived far longer than many with muscular dystrophy, he left too soon with so much still to do. But Peter remains not as a sad reminder of the human condition, but as a source of encouragement and motivation. He brought tremendous awareness to my life above and beyond my education and my decades of work with people with disabilities. He brought into focus life’s possibilities despite indescribable limitations. He left instilling an appreciation for the kind of tenacity that encourages us to move above and beyond.
In the fleeting moments of the day when the trials of life seem unsurmountable obstacles, I simply ask myself “What would Peter do?” In life, for Peter, there was always an option.
